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i'm just a stupid man who let go of someone i love...
Why didn't I fight for it? Why do i always want to keep my cool? Why can't I be just a little bit more persistance?
Refering to The Missing Piece:
No one on earth is perfect for another person.
No one can ever find their missing piece, because they never existed...
We are all rolling pieces.
Love makes these rolling pieces know how to adjust their openings to comfort each other.
Love makes them f e e l completed while they actually never are, and can never be.
That why love is so magical and powerful.
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I thought the pain would be gone when emptiness subs in.
Appearently I'm wrong. The pain is still there. It stings me right in the heart.
Sometimes I wonder if the pain is a heartache or a stomachache...ever since the incidence, eating makes me sick. When the food reaches the stomache, it enlarges the heartache. Sometimes even just the smell from food would makes me puke
There are many wonders in my mind. But...why bother?
So God, please give me a forgiving heart. I don't want to hate anybody, especially someone I love. And, please, please comfort her with your hand, your own hand, for we know there's only You who can truely heal. She has already felt bad enough. And please take care of her for me. Comfort her and give her strength. Help her to go through crisis.
Here, I thank You for listening.
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Thanks for the following songs:
"Gotta Knock A little Harder" - Tim Jensen, Mai Yamne (Theme Song, Cowboy Bebop The Movie)
"Akatsuki no kuruma" - Nanri Yuuka (Cagalli Image Song, Gundam Seed)
"Wait" - Chan Bak Keung/Lee Hak Ken
April 2nd, 2003
I went for a bike ride last night. Riding bike is somewhat like swimming to me, both of them need determinations, don't you think? You can't stop in the middle or else you'd ended up nowhere. I usually do a lot of my thinking during swimming and biking. As I haven't been doing much of these in recent years, you can tell how rotten my brain is.
Last night when i was on my bike, i decided to go as far as i could until the bike route ends. So I kept going and going...non-stop. It was cold out, my hands were freezing, but my mind is clear. I know i couldn't quit...there was no bus running at that time...so nomatter how tired i get, i just couldn't quit. When the route ended, i turned back, took a different route which brought me to a park on the east side. It was dark there, very dark. But there, I found my treasure. I looked up in the sky, all the stars were smiling at me, and the moon said, "You finally stop and take a look at us." I said to it, " I know you'll be there when I need you." It replied, "Yes, I will. But don't be a total stranger, okay?" I smile, and then off I go.
I'm a gas station. I'll be more than happy to have you stopped by when you're out of fuel, or when you need a break in your journey. Your journey has to go on, it's your advanture, your story. You have to finish what you're looking for/your destiny.
Sometimes I think: Should I stop going for what I've been longing for?
If the thing is a no-lose situtation, no doubt I should fight till the end. But what if it's a dead/alive sitation? What if fighting makes you lose your most precious thing when you keep insisting? Is taking a step back means you're weak? Or it shows you treasure that someone/something? What if that something is your true happiness? Will I find the treasure if i keep fighting? Keep fighting; let-go; both are my true feelings. They are 50/50 to me. I only care what makes you feel the best.
Thanks for all the OST from Initial D, they keep my life going(oh well...working actually, haha) even when I'm paralyzed in the inside.
And of course, Thanks to my friends. I don't know what I can say to thank you (all) more. Thank you for your time, and thank you for not asking what had happened. |
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